Merck Jokes / Recent Jokes

Merck, the drug company that made Vioxx, is getting a new trial. A judge ruled that the $50 million awarded to a man who had a heart attack after taking Vioxx was "grossly excessive."
Merck's former CEO, Ray Gilmartin, who made $37 million plus stock options in that same year, agreed with the verdict, saying, "The guy who suffered a heart attack shouldn't make more than the guy who caused it."

Are you bewildered by the fluctuations in the stock market. If so, you are not alone. The answer is really simple. The market has nothing to do with the profitability of a firm. It has only to do with the expectations of investors as to what future profitability might be.
Take the meteoric rise and abrupt fall in Merck stock recently. As you probably know Merck is an old established chemical and drug company which has always been profitable. They are a leader in cardiac (Vasotec, Hydrodiuril) and arthritic (Decadron, Indocin) drugs. Their growth has been stabile but not spectacular. So why the sudden changes in their stock.
Well, it seems that Merck researchers have developed a breakthrough drug in the treatment of depression, especially effective in the depression common in adolescent women. This new drug, dihydromethylfluxotine or the brand name proposed, Ufouria, has been undergoing extensive double blind studies in the United States and Sweden and preliminary reports more...