Mgr Jokes / Recent Jokes

Here are some of the submissions of actual comments, notices, and statements coming out of different companies:
As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning entry; Fred Dales at Microsoft Corporation )
What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping)
How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff? (Programming intern, Microsoft IIS Development team)
E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. (Accounting Mgr., Electric Boat Company)
This project is so important, we can`t let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Mktg. Mgr., UPS)
Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We`ve been more...

Here are some of the submissions of actual comments, notices, and statements coming out of different companies: As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning entry; Fred Dales at Microsoft Corporation ) What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping) How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff? (Programming intern, Microsoft IIS Development team) E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. (Accounting Mgr., Electric Boat Company) This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Mktg. Mgr., UPS) Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go more...

Here are some of the submissions of actual comments, notices, and statements coming out of different companies:

As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning entry; Fred Dales at Microsoft Corporation )

What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping)

How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff? (Programming intern, Microsoft IIS Development team)

E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. (Accounting Mgr., Electric Boat Company)

This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Mktg. Mgr., UPS)

Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved more...