Mirror Jokes / Recent Jokes

Kanjibhai and Ramjibhai were getting ready for the company awards dinner for the best salesman. Kanjibhai was in the running to win an award that evening and wanted to make sure he looked his best when he claimed his prize. He felt his luck was with him and was sure to win.

He stood in front of the mirror to fix his tie but the mirror was crooked, so he reached over to straighten it out and it came crashing down on the floor. "Oh no," said Kanjibhai. "Now I am going to have seven years bad luck."

"Nonsense," said Ramjibhai. My uncle once broke a mirror and he didn't have seven years bad luck."

"Really?" said Kanjibhai, feeling much better knowing that.

"Yeah really," said Ramjibhai. "He died that day."

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself."You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my hair is grey, my shoulders are hunched over, I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby." She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1997 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"
The young man replies, " A 1997 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000." "That's a lot of money." says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.
The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?" "Sure", replies the proud owner.
So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"
Just then, the more...

Jack took a long look at his speedometer before slowing down: 73 in a 55 zone. Fourth time in as many months. How could a guy get caught so often? When his car had slowed to 10 miles an hour, Jack pulled over but partially. Let the cop worry about the potential traffic hazard. Maybe some other car will tweak his backside with a mirror. The cop was stepping out of his car, the big pad in hand.
Bob? Bob from Church? Jack sunk farther into his trench coat. This was worse than the coming ticket. A Christian cop catching a guy from his own church. A guy who happened to be a little eager to get home after a long day at the office. A guy he was about to play golf with tomorrow. Jumping out of the car, he approached a man he saw every Sunday, a man he'd never seen in uniform.
"Hi, Bob. Fancy meeting you like this."
"Hello, Jack." No smile.
"Guess you caught me red-handed in a rush to see my wife and kids."
"Yeah, I guess." Bob seemed more...

A blonde, brunette and a redhead all step up to a mysterious magig mirror. A sign beside it says: If you lie while looking in this mirror you will dissapear. The brunette appraches the mirror and says: "I think i'm the smartest girl in the world" and she dissapeared. The redhead approaches the mirror and says:" I think I'm the hottest girl in the world." and she dissapeared. Then the blonde appraches the mirror and says: " I think, and she dissapeared

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead walk into a bar. The bartender tells them that in the restroom, there is a magic mirror.
If you tell the truth in front of it, you get the one thing you desire the most. But if you lie in front of it, you disappear and you can never come back. So, the redhead goes into the restroom and stands in front of the mirror.
“I think that I am the most beautiful person in this bar. ” And the Redhead walks out with a brand new red car.
Then the Brunette goes into the restroom and says to the mirror, ” I think Im the smartest person in this bar. ” And she gets a million dollars.
Then the Blonde goes into the restroom and says to the mirror, ” I think…” POOF! She disappears.

A hip young man goes out and buys a 1997 Ferrari GTO. It is the best and most expensive car
available in the world, costing about $500, 000. He takes it out for a spin and while stopping for a
red light, an old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man
looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks,
"What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"
The young man replies, "A 1997 Ferrari GTO. They cost about a half million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.
The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?"
"Sure," replies the owner.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man
says, "That's a pretty nice car, all more...