Modern Jokes / Recent Jokes

Modern Travel: To promote airline safety, a proposed FAA rule would
require that every suitcase checked on a US flight be on the same
plane as its owner. "That means that even though you want to fly to
Orlando at 9am, you may end up on the 10pm plane to Boise." (Jerry
Perisho)
Major airlines oppose the plan. "They are even against a less stringent
rule that would require luggage and owners to be in the same country."

Bill and Carol were newlyweds. Bill thought this would be a modern marriage, meaning they would each play equal roles.
So, the first morning after their honeymoon, he brought Carol breakfast in bed.
However, Carol wasn't at all impressed by his culinary skills. Looking disdainfully at the tray, she snorted, "A poached egg? I wanted scrambled!"
Undaunted, the following morning, Bill brought his new bride a scrambled egg.
Unfortunately, Carol wasn't satisfied. "Did you ever stop to think that perhaps I like variety?" she snapped. "I wanted poached this morning!"
Determined to please her, the next morning, he brought her two eggs... one poached and one scrambled.
"Here, my darling, enjoy," he said cheerfully.
Carol was infuriated. "You scrambled the wrong egg!" she screamed.

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including the following:1. Buying a stronger whip.2. Changing riders.3. Threatening the horse with termination.4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.7. Appointing an intervention team to reanimate the dead horse.8. Creating a training session to increase the riders load share.9. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.10. Changing the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead."11. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.13. more...

60
The famous British one-eyed Admiral was Nelson
61
The earlier name of Sri Lanka was Ceylon
62
The UNO was formed in the year 1945
63
UNO stands for United Nations Organisation
64
The independence day of South Korea is celebrated on 15th August
65
'Last Judgement'was the first painting of an Italian painter named Michelangelo
66
'Paradise Regained' was written by John Milton
67
The first President of Egypt was Mohammed Nequib
68
The first man to reach North Pole was Rear Admiral Peary
69
The most famous painting of Pablo Picasso was Guernica
70
The primary producer of newsprint in the world is Canada
71
The first explorer to reach the South Pole was Cap. Ronald Amundson
72
The person who is called the father of modern Italy is Giuseppe Garibaldi
73
World literacy day is celebrated on 8th September
74
The founder of modern Germany is Bismarck
75
The country more...

How do you spot a modern spider? He doesnt have a web he had a website!

A well known modern artist was commissioned to do his interpretation of Custer's Last Stand. After spending two years on the gigantic painting, a big ceremony was held for its unveiling.
The entire art community, the press and members of the government were all present, eagerly awaiting the moment when the curtain would be drawn, unveiling the painting. Finally, all the guests sat down and the sheet covering the canvas was drawn and a shocked silence filled the room.
In the center of the painting stood a large cow with a halo, surrounded by thousands of Indians, all engaged in various sorts of sex.
On one in the room new quite how to react when a reporter for the times stood up und addressed the artist, "Sir, could you please explain the imagery in this painting. I'm afraid I don't understand much about modern art."
"Sure thing," said the artist, "This painting represents my conception of what was going through General Custard's mind at the more...

Once upone a time, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat.
She called her neighbors and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
Not I," said the cow.
Not I," said the duck.
Not I," said the pig.
Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen.
And she did. The wheat grew tall and repened into golden grain.
"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.
At last it came time to bake the bread.
"Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red more...