Momma Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Naughty Night Before ChristmasTwas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner, and momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Shoved a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of the sled, A sock in his ear and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite, And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out more...
Her face is on the front of a food stamp.
That your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
She waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.
Burglars break into yo momma's home and leave money.
When I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.
The building society repossessed her cardboard box.
She watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.
Each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers
She can't even afford to go to the free clinic.
When I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked yo momma what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.
I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.
When I rang her doorbell, SHE said' Ding-Dong'
I asked her where the' facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner... ANY corner..."
I visited yo momma's house, more...
your momma is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks!
Your momma is so stupid she stared at the orange juice carton for 20 minutes cuz it said concentrate! !!
Yo momma so short she can hang glides Doritos!
Yo momma's like a "Happy Meal" small, cheap and greasy.
Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like shit.
Yo momma's so short, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs.
Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo momma's so short, she does back flips under the bed.
Your momma is so fat that she thought that my pint house was a cupcake.