Mommy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A kindergartener was practicing her spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: dog, cat, mom, and dad were proudly displayed for all to see.
One morning, while getting ready for school, she ran into the kitchen with her arms outstretched. In her hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Mommy, look what I spelled," she exclaimed proudly.
"That's wonderful!" her mother praised her. "Go and put them on the fridge so Daddy can see them tonight when he gets home from work." The mother happily thought that the Catholic education was certainly having an impact.
Just then, a little voice called out... "Mommy, how do you spell 'zilla'?"

ONE DAY A BOY WAS TAKING A SHOWER WITH HIS MOTHER AND HE SAYS ''MOMMY WHAT ARE THOSE''? SHE REPLIES..''OH THOSE ARE MY HEAD LIGHTS''THE BOY THEN AGAIN ASKS ''MOMMY WHATS THAT''? SHE THEN REPLIES ''OH THATS MY GARDEN'' THE BOY SAYS THANKS AND HOPS OUT OF THE SHOWER.
THE NEXT DAY THE BOY TAKES A SHOWER WITH HIS DAD.THE BOT THEN ASKS HIS DAD ''DADDY WHATS THAT''? THE FATHER REPLIES ''OH THATS MY SNAKE''THE BOY SAYS THANKS AND HOPS OUT OF THE SHOWER. THAT NIGHT THE BOY HAD A BAD DREAM SO HE WENT INTO HIS PARENTS ROOM SNEAKS UNDER THE SHEETS AND SAYS''MOMMY MOMMY QUICK TURN ON YOUR HEAND LIGHTS THERES A SNAKE IN YOUR GARDEN!!!

One summer spring afternoon little Timmy wanted to use the little boys room, to his suprise when he walked in his mommy was taking a bath and humming away to her suprise seeing little timmy who was only three she tries to cover herself as fast as she could, but little timmy being curious as he was ask mommy,
what is that black mushy thingy just under her belly button, as shocked as she was she replys comly, " now Timmy thats mommy's sponge." That was a reasonable answer for a curious little timmy so he wonders off to his daily activities, The summer rolls around and Timmy was on his way to the little boys room,
and to his suprise he runs in to mommy in the shower and this time something was different to his eyes so he asks, " mommy where is ur sponge?" As shocked as she was she replys, "Timmy I lost it when I cleanded the bathroom last week. timmy sadened by this promises his mother that he would do every thing to
find her the sponge. Later that more...

One day Timmy came home from school very excited... "Mommy, Mommy, guess what? Today in English I got all the way to the end of the alphabet, and everyone else got messed up around' P'!" His mother said, "Very good, dear. That's because you're a bari player."
The next day, Timmy was even more excited. "Mommy, Mommy, guess what! Today in math I counted all the way to ten, but everyone else got messed up around seven!"
"Very good, dear," his mother replied. "That's because you're a bari player."
On the third day, Timmy was beside himself. "Mommy, Mommy, today we measured ourselves and I'm the tallest one in my class! Is that because I'm a bari player?"
"No dear," she said. "That's because you're 27 years old."

One evening after dinner, a five-year-old son noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked, "Where did mommy go?"
In answer to his questions, he was told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party."
This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?"
The man had always given my son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of
ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other."
He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime.
Then he burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," he said. "What is it really?"

When they came in, I greeted them warmly, seated Kelsey, and, as usual, put on my gloves, goggles, and mask.

About ten minutes into the procedure, Kelsey got scared and cried, "I want my mommy!"

I quickly pulled off my mask and said, "I AM your mommy."

Without hesitation, my daughter yelled back, "Then I want my granny!"

"Mommy, when Daddy and I were on the bus this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady," Little Johnny said.
"Well, dear," his mother replied, "that was the right thing to do."
"But, Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap!" Johnny exclaimed.