Mommy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A girl walks into the kitchen and asks her mom, mommy, why is my name Voilet?
the mom answers: because the first thing that fell on your head when you were born was a violot.
then the other girl walks into the kitchen and asks: mommy, why is my name Rose?
the mom answers and said, because the first thing that fell on your head when you were born was a Rose.
then the mom heard moaning in the other room, and she said: SHUT UP FRIDGE!

A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.
"Mommy," said the little boy, "what are all those ladies doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off of work," she replied.
The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? Their hookers. They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, mommy?" His mother, glaring at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mommy what happens to the babies those ladies have?"
"They mostly become cab drivers," she replied.

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three-year-old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, "but what's growing in your butt?"

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.

"Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?"

"No" her mother replied.

"Well, I think I have to throw up!"

"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."

In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat.

"Did you throw up?" her mother asked.

"Yes" the little girl replied.

"Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?"

"I didn`t have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says `for the sick`."

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says' for the sick'."

There was this lady who was in the shower & her little boy walked in on her taking a shower & he saw her pubic hairs & says:
"Mommy what's that?" as he pointed down to her.
"Well, that's Mommy's washcloth."
The next day he walked in on her again, & asked her again & she says it was her washcloth. Well, this time when he walked out she shaved it off because she got tired of him asking.
So the next day when he walked in on her, he asks:
"Mommy what happened to your washcloth?"
"Uh, Mommy lost it." So the little boy walked out.
The next day he walked in on his mom & says:
"Hey Mommy, the maid found your washcloth & she is washing Daddy's face with it!"

There was this lady who was in the shower & her little boy walked in on her taking a shower & he saw her pubic hairs & says:"Mommy what's that?" as he pointed down to her."Well, that's Mommy's washcloth."The next day he walked in on her again, & asked her again & she says it was her washcloth. Well, this time when he walked out she shaved it off because she got tired of him asking.So the next day when he walked in on her, he asks:"Mommy what happened to your washcloth?""Uh, Mommy lost it." So the little boy walked out.The next day he walked in on his mom & says:"Hey Mommy, the maid found your washcloth & she is washing Daddy's face with it!"