Monica Jokes / Recent Jokes
President Clinton said to Monica, "I didn't tell you to lie in
deposition... I told you to lie in that position!"
Where does Monica Lewinsky go for sex on Friday night?
The Oval Office.
Sing the song below to the tune of "Summer Lovin'" from the musical "Grease".
Bill: "Summer intern, had me a blast"
Monica: "White house intern, happened so fast"
Bill: "Met a girl, crazy for me"
Monica: "Met the prez, down on my knees"
Bill: "Summer days, sucking away, oh, i, but those summer nights"
Investigation Committee: "Well, ah.. well, ah.... well, ah. uh Tell us more, tell us more"
Linda Trip: "try to remember your best"
Investigation Committee: "Tell us more, tell us more"
Kenneth Star: "Did he come on your dress?"
Bill: "Wanted to screw her but she had a cramp"
Monica: "The prez is sexy - he makes my panties damp"
Bill: "She gave me head, right in the White House"
Monica: "I said OK, just don't come in my mouth:
Investigation Committee: "Well, ah.. well, more...
TITANIC VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
CLINTON VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line.
CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist.
CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist.
TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Bill.
TITANIC VIDEO: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Monica.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
CLINTON VIDEO: Let's not go there.
TITANIC VIDEO: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
CLINTON VIDEO: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
TITANIC VIDEO: Behind the more...
I just heard that Monica is going to advertise for Jenny Craig. I can hardly wait for the ads, where I can only assume that she is going to tell everyone that the secret to losing weight is not swallowing.
---------------------
Monica Lewinsky lost 31 pounds on the Jenny Craig weight program, for which she is now a spokeswoman.
The Starr report and its appendixes weighed 12 pounds.
Which would you rather have lost?
Q. Do you know what the FBI discovered the stains on Monica's dress actually were?
A. A wad of Bill's.