Monk Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three monks were silently meditating far away from any other people or any modern conveniences. After one year of silence, the first monk remarked, "Pretty cold here."

Another year passed in silence and the second monk said, "You know, you're right!"

A third year went by and the third monk said, "Look, I'll have to find somewhere else to meditate if you two don't stop bitching!"

Two small boys, one catholic and one protestant get lost in the woods. Darkness comes down and they near a monestary. Upon entering they are asked their faith, telling the head monk their religions. The catholic lad gets the best of treatment, good food, a good bed near the fireplace. The protestant lad however gets a bowl of cold gruel, is told to sleep by the draughty door to keep the cold out of the room. In the morning the head monk asks the boys how it was. "I dreamt I was in heaven Father " said the catholic boy. "It was just wonderful" "I dreamt that I was in hell " said the protestant boy. "And what was that like?" said the holy father. "Just like this place, couldn't get near the fire for catholics"

A monk joins a abbey ready to dedicate his life to copying ancient books by hand. After the first day though, he reports to the head priest. He's concerned that all the monks have been copying from copies made from still more copies. "If someone makes a mistake," he points out. "It would be impossible to detect. Even worse the error would continue to be made."A bit startled, the priest decides that he better check their latest effort against the original which is kept in a vault beneath the abbey. A place only he has access to.Well two days, then three days pass without the priest resurfacing. Finally the new monk decides to see if the old guy is alright. When he gets down there though, he discovers the priest hunched over both a newly copied book and the ancient original text. He is sobbing and by the look of things has been sobbing for a long time."Father?" the monk whispers.
"oh lord jesus," the priest wails. "The word is more...

A monk was driving in India when suddenly a dog crosses the road. The car hit and killed the dog. The monk looked around and seeing a temple, went to knock on the door. A monk opened the door. The first monk said: "I'm terribly sorry, but my karma ran over your dogma."

A new monk arrives at the monastery and is assiged to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. When he looks closer, however, he notices that they are copying copies, not the original books.
The new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out to the head monk that should there be an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies.
"We have been copying from the copies for centuries," says the head monk, "however, I must admit you make a very good point, my son."
The head monk then goes down to the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours pass and no one sees him, so one of the monks decides to go downstairs to look for him. When he arrives he hears loud sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old head monk leaning over one of the original books crying.
"What's wrong," he asks the old monk.
"The word is CELEBRATE!" more...

A new young monk arrives at the monastery.

He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from
the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but
you make a good point, my son."

So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the
original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him.

He sees him more...

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, not the original books. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears a sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what's wrong. The old monk sobs, "The word is celebrate."