Monk Jokes / Recent Jokes
A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.
So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing "We forgot the 'R', We forgot the more...
A robber and an alms-begging monk were pursuing their way together when a tiger suddenly appeared from nowhere and pounced upon them. The robber immediately drew a bow. The tiger, however, was not afraid and kept closing in on them. As a last resort, the monk threw his alms book at the tiger, which immediately fell back with fright and beat a hasty retreat. "Pa," asked the tiger cub of its father," how come you were not afraid of the robber and yet the monk gave you such a good scare?" "Well," replied the tiger, " when the robber came up, I was prepared to wrestle with him. But when the monk wanted to beg alms from me, how was I going to bundle him off?"
A man was driving down the road and broke down near a monastery. He went to the monastery and knocked on the door. An elderly monk answered the door, and he said, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"
The monks graciously welcomed him into the monastery, fed him dinner, even fixed his car. As the man tried to fall asleep, he heard a strange sound.
The next morning, he asked the monks what the sound was, but they said, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man was disappointed, but thanked them and went on his way.
Some years later, the same man broke down in front of the same monastery. The monks welcomed him, fed him, even fixed his car. That night, he heard the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asked what the noise was, but the monks replied, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man said, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. How more...
SOME ARE SLEEPING
A BUDDHIST MONK WAS CARRYING OUT A SERMON IN ENGLISH. ONE CHRISTIANS WAS ALSO IN THE GATHERING. AS MOST OF THE PEOPLE ARE FEELING SLEEPY AND SLEEPINE MONK ASK THE QUESTION; WHAT ARE TEH EIGHT FOLD PATH? STARTED ONE BY ONE, SAMMA SATHI, SAMMA SAMADI... SO ON. THE CONFUSED CHRITIAN LOOKED AND SAW PEOPLE ARE DOZINF OFF AND SAID, SOME ARE SLEEPING( SAMMA SLEEPING)
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LIGHTEST THING
WHAT IS THE LIGHTEST THING ON THE EARTH?
PENIS(REASON: EVEN A SLIGHTEST THOUGHT CAN RAISE IT)
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SIMILARITY
WHAT IS THE SIMILARITY BETWEEN QUEEN'S NIGHT DRESS AND THAT COUNTRY'S NATIONAL FLAG?
BOTH ARE RAISED BY THE KING.
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This Zen Buddhist Monk walks up to a hotdog stand and says to the vender, "Give me one with everything".
So the vender makes him a hotdog with everything, hands it to the Buddhist Monk.
The Buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill, the vender takes it, puts it in his cash register and shuts the door.
The Buddhist says, "Wait, where's my change?"
The vender replies, "Change must come from within".
This Zen Buddhist Monk walks up to a hotdog stand and says to the vender, "Give me one with everything".So the vender makes him a hotdog with everything, hands it to the Buddhist Monk.The Buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill, the vender takes it, puts it in his cash register and shuts the door.The Buddhist says, "Wait, where's my change?"The vender replies, "Change must come from within".
A man worked at a gas station out in the middle of nowhere. One day when he was driving home from work, he ran out of gas (how ironic). So the man walks and walks and eventually he comes upon a monastery.
He asks a monk at the monastery, "Can I stay here over night? My car ran out of gas."
The monk replies, "You may; but you musn't come out of your room between the hours of 12 midnight and 6 am."
The man replies, "That's fine with me." The monk takes him to his room, and the man falls asleep.
About 12 midnight the man is roused from his sleep by a horrible groaning noise that was coming from the basement. He gets out of his bed to see what it is, but remembers the monk saying that he couldn't leave his room between 12 and 6 am. The groaning keeps the man awake all night long until it finally stops at 6.
The next morning the man asks the monk from yesterday, "What was that racket coming from the basement?"
"I can't more...