Moron Jokes / Recent Jokes
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
MEGA MORON AWARDS Tennessee: A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole the bank's video camera, while the camera was remotely recording. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera). Louisiana: A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?] Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block more...
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids won't eat broccoli. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. What's the difference between the capital of Russia and a calf's mother? One is Moscow, the other is cow's ma. Where did the vegetables go to get drunk? The Salad Bar. Where do you get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep. Where does a one-armed man shop? At a second hand store. Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage? Ta da dump, ta da dump, ta da dump Dump DUMP!!! Which of these things don't belong: A tuna, a lobster, or a Chinese guy run over by a truck? The tuna. The other two are crustaceans. Who delivers puppies when the Vet isn't available? The mid woof. Why can't a woman ask her brother for help? Because he can't be a brother and assist her too. Why did the big moron fall off the roof and the little moron didn't? Because he was a little more on. Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the opossum it could be done.
During World War II the Little Moron was drafted into the U. S. Army. He went to Fort Benning for basic training. His blunders resulted in frequent KP duties. In the company's kitchen, his sergeant noticed yet another peculiar behavior.
Sergeant: "Hey, you little moron, why are you saluting that refrigerator?"
LM: "Sir, I thought it was General Electric, sir."
Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms. After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground. Laying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one moron says to the other, "I don't think much of this budgie jumping." The other moron replies, "Yeah, I'm not too keen on this paragliding either."