Mother-in-law Jokes / Recent Jokes
There aren't too many TV shows that dare to tackle the topic of The Mother-In-Law. So, here are a few suggestions for new story lines for some of the current hit TV shows.
1. Oprah: Dr. Phil discusses the phenomenon of "Reverse Claustrophobia" (the uncontrollable desire to lock yourself in a room or closet when your MIL visits.)
2. House of Fashion: Today's topic - This Old Bag
3. Daughters-in-law and Order - Special Victims Unit: Investigators probe horrid offenses committed by MILs that have left the victims devastated, and destroyed lives.
4. Survivor: Stay at home and vote to keep the MILs on the island forever.
5. Home Shopping Club: DIL SURVIVAL KIT - Items for sale include a new lock and key for your front door, duct tape, caller ID boxes, and ear plugs.
6. MIL Family Feud: Most of us have been playing this game since we got engaged. Whenever you say something, your MIL tries to top it.
7. WWF: See the champ in the ring with your MIL. Can more...
Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family.
Mueller is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of them are to recieve 50 lashes on the rear end with a cane. But because the royal family doesn’t want to appear hostile to foreigners, they grant the guests in their country a wish beforehand, as long as it is able to be fulfilled.
Mrs. Mueller is first.
“What do you wish for yourself? ”
“I would like a pillow bound on my rear end before the lashings. ”
“Okay, that shall be granted to you. ”
Mrs. Mueller has the pillow bound to her rear end and receives her punishment. But because the pillow is too small and the executioner also hits her back a couple of times, she receives a few blows.
Next it is Mueller’s mother-in-law’s more...
When the man came home, his wife was crying."Your mother insulted me," she sobbed."My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the world?" the man asked."I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious.""And?""At the end of the letter it was written:PS. Dear Diane, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son."
Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband."Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?""Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I, I couldn't spell' convenience,' so I made it' risk.'"
My mother-in-law is like a fine French Impressionist painting. She's very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance.
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had
genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride.While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock toall no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways.At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would more...
Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies today. Would you like to take your pick? Son-in-law: No thanks. I'll just use the hammer.