Mother-in-law Jokes / Recent Jokes
Overheard in a restaurant:
SHE: This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste.
HE: Are you describing the wine or your mother?
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said,' 'What are we going to do?''
''Nothing,'' said the hunter,' 'The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.''
A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5, 000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150. 00." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5, 000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to have her buried here and spend only $150. 00?" The man replied, "A man died here 2, 000 years ago, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
My mother-in-law has got so many double chins it looks like she is peering over a pile of pancakes.
This guy says to his buddy, "You'll never believe what happened last night."His buddy says, "Well then, tell me what happened."The guy says, "Last night the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch."She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?" I said, "Of course, you can," and shut the door.
Mother-in-Laws
1. A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair!?!"
2. The lawyer cabled his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?" Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order all three."
3. At the funeral, a priest was consoling the bereaved man: "Come, come my good man, tears cannot restore your mother-in-law." "Yes, I know... that's why I'm crying."
4. Adam and Eve were the happiest and luckiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.
5. Have you heard about this man who took his mother-in-law to the zoo and threw her into the crocodile pool. He is now being sued by the SPCA for being cruel to the crocodiles.
6. Two neighbours were having a more...
Then there is the joke about the guy who was told by his doctor that he has only 6 months to live.
He decides to move in with his mother-in-law, because living with her for 6 months will seem like forever.