Mount Jokes / Recent Jokes
The scene was Mount Olympus, where Bacchus, the Greek god of wine, had thrown a party for a pair of visiting Roman deities -- Ceres, the goddess of agriculture, and Janus, the two-faced god of doors and beginnings. Everyone overdid it, more or less. Ceres at one point was staggering and turning in circles; Janus, equally submerged, was trying to dance with her. Bacchus feared that the pair might fall over, so he went to steady them.. ... This marked the first time that a whirled Ceres was held with a double-header.
AAC Alter All CommandsAAD Alter All DataAAO Add And OverflowAAR Alter At RandomAB Add BackwardsABC AlphaBetize CodeABR Add Beyond RangeACC Advance CPU ClockACDC Allow Controller to Delete ContentsACDP Allow Controller to Die PeacefullyACQT Advance Clock to Quitting TimeADB Another Dumb BugAEE Absolve Engineering ErrorsAFF Add Fudge FactorAFHB Align Fullword on Halfword BoundaryAFP Abnormalize Floating PointAFR Abort Funny RoutineAFVC Add Finagle's Variable ConstantAGB Add GarBageAGWA Add and Get Wrong AnswerAI Add ImproperAIB Attack Innocent BystanderAIB Attack Innocent BystandersAISG Access and Improve Student GradeAMM Add Mayo and MustardAMM Answer My MailAMS Add Memory to SystemANC ANnoy ConsultantAOI Annoy Operator ImmediateAR Advance RudelyAR Alter RealityARN Add and Reset to Non-zeroARN Add and Reset to NonzeroARZ Add and Reset to ZeroAS Add SidewaysASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSIAT Accumulate TriviaAWP Argue With ProgrammerAWTT Assemble With Tinker ToysBA Branch more...
Q: What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?
A: Popeye kicked the fuck out of him!
Sing this to the tune of "On top of old oaky from "That's so Raven".
On top of Mount Fuji,
All covered in blood,
I shot poor Barney
With a 45 stud.
He went to the hospital.
He wasn't quite dead.
So I took a machine gun,
And blew off his head
I went to his funeral.
I went to his grave.
Some people threw flowers,
But i threw a grenade
TaDa!
What's the difference between Moses and Tim
Leary
Moses got on his ass and rambeled around the
country untill he got to Mount Siani. There
he saw a burning bush. Later he got two
tablets made out of stone, whiche he took
down from on high. When he showed these to
the people they all said this is from God.
Tim Leary got off his ass and into his
rambler. He went to Mount Kisko and smoked a
little bush. Later he got two hundred tablets
whic he took down to the people who got on a
high and thought the.
A town in Poland had only one cow and it stopped giving milk. The townspeople did a little research and discovered they could get a cow from Moscow for 2000 roubles - or one from Minsk for only 1000 roubles. So, naturally, - they got the cow from Minsk.
It was a great cow had a wonderful disposition, and gave lots of milk and lots of cream. Everybody loved it dearly. The people decided they would mate the cow and get more cows like it, and then they would never have to worry about their milk supply again.
So they got a bull and led the cow and the bull into the pasture. When the bull came in from the right to mount the cow, the cow moved to the left. When the bull moved in to mount the cow from the left, the cow moved to the right. This went on all day.
Finally, in desperation, the people decided to go ask the rabbi what to do. After all he was very wise.
They told him the story. "Rabbi, we've tried all day to mate our cow. When the bull moves in from the right more...
Q: How many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. "I don't do lights. That's the light crew's job."
Q: How many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One: Upon finding no replacement, he takes the original apart, repairs it with a chewing gum wrapper and duct tape, changes the screw mount to bayonet mount, finds an appropriate patch cable, and re-installs the bulb fifty feet from where it should have been, to the satisfaction of the rest of the band.
Q: How many alt. music. pink-floyd readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 51. One to screw in the bulb, one to notice some small detail of the bulb-screwing and tie it into the Publius Enigma, 15 more to expand on his point, 12 to flame him, 10 to argue that you're not really screwing in a light bulb, that only Roger Waters can screw in a light bulb, 8 more to say that Dave Gilmour can screw in a light bulb better than Roger ever could, two to say that the best more...