Mrsperfesser Jokes

I received a greeting card from the old perfesser (T. O. P.) a
couple of days AFTER Christmas, with an added note full of his
usual holiday cheer:

Dear PBen, MrsPBen, and all the Little PBen's,
I'm writing from my daughters' casa, where we came to spend the
holidays. I'm still not sure why MrsPerfesser made me leave our
warm, comfortable trailer this time of year, but here we are.
This hasn't been my best Christmas, I can tell you that... silly
daughter and That Danged Thing She Calls A Husband bought me a 12
month gift membership to Weight Watchers! The nerve... if they
weren't holding my Grandbaby hostage, I think I'd change my will
and leave the Trailer to somebody more deserving, like the parking
lot sweeper over at Valdoster U.
Well, I got them back, at least a little. I got that sumbitchin'
son-in-law his OWN membership, in the Fruitcake Of The Month Club!
HAH! He'll never call me THAT again! And my more...