Mug Jokes / Recent Jokes

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.

The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife,' Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, honey bunch?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.'

The wife said,' You want a beer, my love?' She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was,' Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses...'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,' You want a frozen glass, puppy face?' She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding more...

You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When. . .

Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

You ski uphill.

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You speed walk in your sleep.

You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."

You answer the door before people knock.

You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You sleep with your eyes open.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You lick your coffeepot clean.

You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."

You're the employee of the month at the local more...

This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out into town and party with his old buddies, so he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..." "Where are you going coochy cooh...?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer." The wife says to him, "You want a beer my love?" Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of saying is, "Yes, loolie loolie... but the bar.... you know... the frozen glass..." He didn't get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by saying, "You want a frozen glass puppy face?" She takes a huge beer mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.

The more...

Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. You ski uphill. You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. You speed walk in your sleep. You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack." You answer the door before people knock. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You sleep with your eyes open. You have to watch videos in fast-forward. The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer. You lick your coffeepot clean. You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House." You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there. You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. You chew on other people's fingernails. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to more...

An insect falls into a mug of beer.
English Man: Throws his mug of beer on the floor and walks out.
American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks tube beer.
Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws the beer.
Indian Man: Sells the insect to the Chinese and the beer to the Englishman and buys himself a new mug of beer.
Pakistani Man: Accuses the Indian of throwing the insect into his mug, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan to buy another mug of beer.

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, Although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back... " "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer. "

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, loolie loolie... but at the bar... you know... they have frozen glasses..." He didn't get to finish the sentence,

Because the wife interrupted him by saying,

"You want a frozen glass, puppy face? " She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so more...