Mug Jokes / Recent Jokes

YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN. .

Juan Valdez named his donkey after you

You ski uphill

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked

You speed walk in your sleep

You have a bumper sticker that says:' Coffee drinkers are good in the sack.' You answer the door before people knock

You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse

You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth

You sleep with your eyes open

You have to watch videos in fast-forward

The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer

You lick your coffeepot clean

You spend every vacation visiting' Maxwell House.' You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work more...

A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant:- I cant drink from this mug. It has no opening. The sergeant examines the mug and says:- You are right. And besides this, it has no bottom.

You know you drink too much coffee if...
You answer the door before people knock.
Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
You ski uphill.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this more...

Moraj Desai, the then Indian prime minister visited Sri lanka and was invited to
have dinner with the then prime minister Premadasa.
After Indian PM arrived in the Temple Trees (prime minister's residence) they
exchanged greetings and was escorted to the visiting room.
"How about a sip of your favourite drink?" asked Prem from the visiting PM.
"I will be most grateful to you Prem."
So, Prem went inside and peed in to a big beer mug. He brought the foaming
liquid and offered to the Indian PM.
"Thanks a lot Prem" said the Indian PM and gulped down the drink with two
gulps.
"Aah, what a refreshing taste."
"Do you like to have some more?"
"Yes, if you don't mind"
So, Prem went inside again and tried produce another mug full of the drink, but
unfortunately he could produce a single drop. He asked his dear wife Hemavo
to help him out of this difficult more...

An insect falls into a mug of beer....
Englishman: Throws his mug away and walks out.
American: Takes the insect out and drinks the beer.
Chinese: Eats the insect and throws the beer away.
Indian: Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.
Pakistani: Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer. Relates the issue to Kashmir. Asks the Chinese for Military aid. Takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer..

An Irishman caught a leprechuan and was offered three wishes if he would release the leprechuan. He decided that he could really use a beer so he made that his first wish.
A mug of beer appeared on a rock so he drank it down. As he prepared to make his second wish, he noticed that the mug was full of beer.
"How did that happen?" he asked.
The leprechuan explained that for as long as he lived the mug would be full and he could drink all he wanted.
The Irishman said, "In that case, I'll take two more of those!"

A couple had only been married for two weeks the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the Refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 Different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of Saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know, they have frozen Glasses... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The more...