Mugged Jokes

A snail was moving along the beach when he happened to look back behind him and saw three turtles wearing leather jackets.
After moving along for about four weeks, the snail looked back again and saw that the three turtles were still there and closing in on him. So, the snail picked up his pace.
After about six more weeks, the snail looked back again, and saw that the turtles were still chasing him. And they were getting closer and closer! So, he kept on going as fast as he could.
After another few weeks, the turtles finally caught up with the snail and mugged him, took all of his clothes and the keys to his car.
After another couple of weeks, the snail got to a pay phone and called the police. "I've been mugged by three turtles wearing leather jackets! You need to get down here and take a report or do something!" he said.
"Can you give us a description of the turtles?" asked the police officer.
"No, I can't. It all happened too more...

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?"To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"

A snail got mugged by two tortoises. When he went to the police, they questioned him as to what happened.
He said, "i don't know, it all happened so fast!"

What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians? Libertarians are anarchists with money.Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options.Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields.Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police.A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists.Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them.Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns.Libertarians are organized in a political party; anarchists aren't organized in more...