Libertarian Jokes

A Republican, a Libertarian, and a Democrat are seated separately in a restaurant when a poor man walks in; unbeknownst to any of them, it is Jesus.

The Republican summons the waiter and asks him to serve the poor man the best food in the house and put it on his tab; the waiter does so. The Libertarian asks the waiter to please serve the poor man iced tea and to put it on his tab. The waiter does so. The Democrat then asks the waiter to bring the poor man pecan pie with ice cream and to put it on his tab.

When Jesus is finished eating, He goes over to the Republican and says, "I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat. Thank you. I see you are blind." and He touches the man's eye, and it is healed.

Jesus then goes over to the Libertarian and says, "I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink. Thank you. I see you have a bad arm." and He touches the man's arm, and it is healed.

Then Jesus walks over to the more...

A Libertarian view of the world:

Having lawyers make laws is like having doctors make diseases.

What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians? Libertarians are anarchists with money.Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options.Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields.Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police.A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists.Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them.Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns.Libertarians are organized in a political party; anarchists aren't organized in more...

What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians??
Libertarians are anarchists with money.
Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.
Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options. Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.
Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields.
Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.
Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police.
A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists.
Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them.
Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns.
Libertarians are organized in a more...

What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians??
Libertarians are anarchists with money.
Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.
Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options.
Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.
Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields.
Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.
Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police.
A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists.
Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them.
Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns.
Libertarians are organized in a more...