Mule Jokes / Recent Jokes

God created the mule, and told him, 'you will be Mule, workingconstantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years. The mule answered: 'To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20.' And it was so.Then God created the dog, and told him, 'you will hold vigilanceover the dwellings of Man, to him you will be his greatest companion. Youwill eat his table scraps and live for 25 years.'And the dog responded, 'Lord, to live 25 years as a dog is too much.Please, no more than 10 years.' And it was so. God then created the monkey, and told him, 'You are Monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years.'And the monkey responded, 'Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of theworld is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years.' And it was so.Finally, God created Man and told him, 'You are Man, the only more...

An American couple, vacationing with some friends in Mexico, were shopping at the market for some souvenirs. Time passed, and they realized that neither of them was wearing a watch. They noticed a little Mexican man taking a siesta next to a mule, which happened to have the largest set of mule nuts they had ever seen.
Doing their best to avoid staring at the enormous mule nuts, they asked the little Mexican man if he could tell them what the time was.
The little Mexican man reached his hand under the huge set of mule balls and, lifting them high, said, "It's 3 o'clock."
Amazed by this, the American couple ran off to find their friends to tell them what they had just witnessed. "You aren't going to believe this," they told their friends, "but, there's a little Mexican man over there who can tell the time by lifting his mule's balls!"
Curious, although somewhat skeptical, the friends wanted to see this first-hand, so they went back and asked more...

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say at the scene of the accident,' I'm fine,"' asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the..." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say at the scene of the accident,' I'm fine!'." Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to more...

Farmer Brown decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Brown. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident,' I'm fine'?" asked the lawyer.

Farmer Brown responded, "Well I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident,' I'm fine'!"

Farmer Brown said, "Well I had just gotten Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to more...

A preacher who wanted to raise money for his church was told there was a fortune in horse racing, so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in a race. However, at the local auction the going price for horses was so steep that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured, however, that since he had it he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, in the first race his mule came in second. The next day the racing sheets carried this headline:
PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS
The preacher was so pleased that he entered the mule in another race. This time it won and the paper said:
PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The new headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS
This was too much for the bishop and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher gave it to a nun in a nearby convent. The headline the next day more...

A preacher who wanted to raise money for his church was told there was a fortune in horse racing, so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in a race. However, at the local auction the going price for horses was so steep that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured, however, that since he had it he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, in the first race his mule came in second. The next day the racing sheets carried this headline:
PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS
The preacher was so pleased that he entered the mule in another race. This time it won and the paper said:
PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The new headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS
This was too much for the bishop and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher gave it to a nun in a nearby convent. The headline the next day more...

A preacher who wanted to raise money for his church was told there was a fortune in horse racing, so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in a race. However, at the local auction the going price for horses was so steep that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured, however, that since he had it he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, in the first race his mule came in second. The next day the racing sheets carried this headline:PREACHER'S ASS SHOWSThe preacher was so pleased that he entered the mule in another race. This time it won and the paper said:PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONTThe bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The new headline read:BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASSThis was too much for the bishop and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher gave it to a nun in a nearby convent. The headline the next day said:NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWNThe more...