Mule Jokes / Recent Jokes

While out Looking For A Place To Hunt: (supposedly true)
A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into
a farmer's yard. The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission
to hunt. The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you
do me a favor? That old mule standing over there is 20 years old
and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would
you do it for me?" The hunter said, "Sure," and headed for the car.
While walking back, however, he decided to pull a trick on his
hunting buddies. He got into the car and when they asked if the
farmer had said OK, he said, "No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going
to teach that old cuss a lesson." With that, he rolled down his
window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule. As he exclaimed,
"There, that will teach him!" a second shot rang out from the
passenger side. And, one of his hunting buddies shouted, "I more...

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He plowed a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.
This was so consistent, the minister decided more...

There were two farmers, neither one had much common sense. They were told by their boss to put the mule in the barn.
When they led the mule over to the barn, they decided that the mule's ears were to long and he would not fit into the barn. So they put their heads together and decided to get a ladder and a saw and saw the overhead of the barn out so the mule could walk right on in the barn.
They began their job and the boss walked over to them and asked them why they were sawing out the top of the barn. When they told him the mule's ears were too long to go into the barn, the boss said:
"Why don't you just get a shovel and dig the dirt out of the ground below, then the mule could walk on in"
The two half smarts looked at each other and said "We told you his "ears" are too long, not his feet!

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head.
Killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister more...

Farmer Brown decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Brown. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" asked the lawyer.Farmer Brown responded, "Well I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the...""I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'!"Farmer Brown said, "Well I had just gotten Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please more...

A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there.

A farmer replied, "Joe's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died."

"Well," replied the man, "she must have had a lot of friends."

"Nope," said the farmer, "we all just want to buy his mule."

The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. "I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I've seen it on T. V."
He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to the field and chose up teams and were ready to begin.
The lion's team received. They were able to get two first downs and then had to punt. The mule punted and the rhino was back deep for the kick. He caught the ball, lowered his head and charged. First, he crushed a roadrunner, then two rabbits. He gored a wildebeast, knocked over two cows, and broke through to daylight, scoring six.
Unfortunately, they lacked a placekicker, and the score remained 6 - 0.
Late in the first half the lion's team scored a touchdown and the mule kicked the extra point. The lion's team led at halftime 7 - 6. In the locker room, the lion gave a peptalk.
"Look you guys. We can win this game. more...