Multiply Jokes / Recent Jokes

After it was all over and Noah lowered the ramp of the ark for all the
animals to leave, he told the animals "To go forth and multiply."All the animals left except two snakes who lay quietly in the corner of the
ark."Why can't you go forth and multiply?" demanded Noah."We can't," answered the snakes. "We're adders."

TEST: * ****************************************************************** DO NOT SKIP AHEAD. Read this message ONE LINE AT A TIME and just do what it says. You will be glad you did. If not, you'll feel like an idiot and wish you had listened. * ******************************************************************1) pick a number from 1-92) subtract 53) multiply by 34) square the number (multiply by the same number -- not square root) and if it's negative make it positive. 5) add the digits until you get only one digit (i. e. 64=6 4= 10= 1 0=1)6) if the number is less than 5, add five. Otherwise subtract 4. 7) multiply by 28) subtract 69) map the digit to a letter in the alphabet 1=A, 2=B, 3=C, etc... 10) pick a name of a country that begins with that letter11) take the second letter in the country name and think of a mammal that begins with that letter12) think of the color of that mammal********************************************************************DO NOT SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU more...

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. Personally I would like to know who came up with this and why that person is not running the country. I wonder what it means...
1. Grab a calculator. (You won't be able to do this one in your head)
2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code)
3. Multiply by 80
4. Add 1
5. Multiply by 250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
8. Subtract 250
9. Divide number by 2
Do you recognize the answer?

A boy comes home from his first day at junior high school.
His mother asks, "What did you do in school today?"
"I learned how to multiply, and I had sex with my English teacher."
The mother, shocked, replied, "Go have a talk with your father!"
The father asked, "What happened in school today?"
The boy says, "I learned how to multiply, and I had sex with my English teacher."
The father beams. "What a milestone! You're really growing up! We should celebrate. I tell you what - let's get an ice cream sundae, and then we'll go buy you that bike you've wanted and go for a bike ride together."
The boy says, "That sounds great, dad; but could we hold off on the ride? My ass is sore as hell!"

The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply."

A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah.
"Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes.

Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"

"Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply."