Murphys Laws Jokes / Recent Jokes

"The Law of Volunteering"
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
"The Law of Avoiding Oversell"
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
"The Law of Reality"
Never get into fights with ugly people. They have nothing to lose.
"The Law of Self Sacrifice"
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
"Barnes' Law"
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
"Law of Probable Dispersal"
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
"Law of Volunteer Labor"
People are always available for work in the past tense.
"Conway's Law"
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
"Law of Cybernetic Entomology"
There is always one more bug.
"Heller's Law"
The first more...

The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.You will have trouble with the ties on your dobok pants when members of the opposite sex are in class.The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the instructor will be sick.The instructor will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.

1. The Law of Common Sense: Never accept a drink from a urologist.2. The Law of Reality: Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.3. The Law of Self Sacrifice: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.4. The Law of Volunteering: If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.5. The Law of Avoiding Oversell: When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.6. The Law of Motivation: Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.7. Boob's Law: You always find something in the last place you look.8. Wailer's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.9. Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.10. Law of Volunteer Labor: People are always available for work in the past tense.11. Conway's Law: In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.12. Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.13. Law of more...

If the enemy is in range, so are you.Incoming fire has the right of way.Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.There is always a way.The easy way is always mined.Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. When you're ready for them. b. When you're not ready for them.Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.A "sucking chest wound" is natures way of telling you to slow down.If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.If you are short of everything but the enemy, you more...