Muslims Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven." The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!"St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?" The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!"St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!"The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!"St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!"So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man died on the cross for the people, and they buried him in a cave. After three days more...
All Muslims are forbidden to watch television in Afghanistan. My wife thinks this is called "The Tellyban"
Police gaffe makes Muslims pray in wrong direction
A Dutch police station trying to help Muslim detainees face Mecca for their prayers painted arrows in cells pointing in the wrong direction...Muslims pray five times a day, facing east in the direction of Mecca. But the arrows in Segbroek pointed west.
"This is a really gigantic, stupid blunder," a police spokesman told the De Telegraaf. "The faulty compass marks have been immediately corrected. It is a mystery for us how this could have possibly happened".
I think Theo Van Gogh was just having some fun.
Regardless, what does it matter if they're facing eastward or westward? As long as they pray downwards, they're facing their paradise.
But these Muslims are watching "Rocky" for the first time. This must be the part where Rocky and Apollo are both on the mat.
The AP reported that Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison chose to use Thomas Jefferson’s Koran “because it showed that a visionary like Jefferson believed that wisdom could be gleaned from many sources.”
Of course, had Ellison lived when Jefferson did, Jefferson would have owned him.
Meanwhile, all that stuff about Muslims being the new black man doesn't make any sense to me. If Muslims are the new black man, why are so many black men, like Ellison, converting to Islam? Because they don’t feel black enough? Because they want to get in on the Muslims’ lucrative African slave trade?
Regardless, it’s nice to see Ellison respecting the founding father. After all, Jefferson may very well be his great-great grandfather.
George W Bush and Tony Blair are in a meeting at the white house, Georges wife walks in and asks what are they doing, they tell her they are making plans for world war 3, so she asks what are the plans, to which Bush says "were going to kill 14 million muslims and 1 dentist."
"Why the 1 dentist?" she asks. Bush pats Blair on the back and says "Told you no one would ask about the muslims"
An Australian Muslim cleric has urged children to be martyrs for Islam and referred to Jews as pigs in a series of DVDs, sparking condemnation by the government and further straining tensions with the nation’s Muslims.
Australia’s ethnic leaders including Muslims, called for Feiz to face possible racial hatred charged for his speeches, the Australian government condemned his comments, and Mel Gibson took him out for drinks.