Nanny Jokes / Recent Jokes
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the more...
A family had lived in Brooklyn for three years, and their eight-year-old son had attended a Brooklyn public school for the past two years. The people of Brooklyn are renowned for their unusual, if not unique, manner of speaking, and the two years of school had given the young fellow an accent that would be recognizable anywhere in the English-speaking world.
The parents were concerned about this, for they were from Virginia, and did not think it proper that their son should speak in such a manner...excuse me, mannah.
They were well-to-do, so they imported a nanny from their home state, with instructions to Get The Brooklyn Out Of That Boy's Mouth.
Saturday morning, the nanny took the lad for the first of many walks in a nearby park. Hearing a bird making a large ruckus high in a tree, the boy said to the nanny, "Listen to that boid!"
Taking her instructions seriously, the nanny admonished him, "That's not boid, it's bird."
Puzzled, the boy more...
At the hairdressers
Sadie and Rose were sitting under hair dryers at the hairdresser having a chat.
Sadie says, "So nu, Rose, how`s that daughter of yours?"
Rose replies, "She`s OK thanks. She married a fantastic man. He`s got such a good job in the City that she gave up her secretary`s job. She stays at home but never needs to cook, because he always takes her out, or clean the house, because he got her a maid, or worry about my 2 lovely grandchildren, because he got her a live-in nanny."
Sadie then asks, "And how`s your son?"
Rose replies, "His life is awful. He married a bitch from hell. She never cooks anything and makes him take her out to dinner every night. God forbid she should vacuum a carpet, so she made him get her a maid. He has to work like a dog because she refuses to get a job and she never takes care of my grandson because she made him get her a nanny."
A little girl went to her father and asked, "Dad, what is politics?"
"Well, dear," he said, "let me try to explain it this way - I'm the breadwinner of the family, so we'll call me Capitalism. Mom is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. We'll call the Nanny the Working Class, and your baby brother, the Future. Think about all that and see if it makes any sense."
She then went off to bed, thinking about all her father had said. Later that night, she heard her baby brother crying and when she went to check on him, she found he had soiled his diaper. She then went to her parents' room, but found her mother fast asleep. Not wanting to wake her, she went to the Nanny's room and found the door locked. When she peeked in the keyhole, she saw her father was in bed with the nanny. She gave up and went back to bed.
The next morning, she said to her father, more...
A former nanny filed a sexual harassment suit against Rob Lowe's wife, alleging that she made repeated crude comments about her boyfriend's genitals - referring to them as "The Outsiders."