Napping Jokes

a great dane and an alsation are with their masters in the waiting room at the local vets.
the great dane decides to strike up a conversation and ask the alsation what he's in for.
well said the alsation, its a long story but it goes something like this-i was napping on the landing when the masters wife came out of the bathroom, stark naked and dripping wet, she bent over to pick a towel up and i could'nt resist, i was up there like a shot, fucking her like she'd never been fucked before, so the masters bought me in to be put down, what about you? wow! said the great dane- thats a coincidence i was also napping on the landing when the masters wife came out of the bathroom, she was wearing stockings and suspenders, but no-knickers, she bent over to pick her blouse up, and i could'nt resist, i was in like a shot, fucking her like she'd never been fucked before!.
oh, said the alsation, so your here to be put down as well then? heck no, said the great dane, i'm here to have my more...

Caught napping at work, school, or church... try this one. Guaranteed to work! Just pick your head up real fast and say:"... in JESUS' name... AMEN!"(he-he... how can they yell at you for this: )ADDENDUM: For some reason, it won't work in a Synagogue?

Some quick thinking to get out of the "caught napping jam!"...
They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.
Whew! I must have left the top off the whiteout again!
I wasn't sleeping! I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.
This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!
I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?
Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem!
I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without using my hands.
The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot!

Some quick thinking to get out of the "caught napping jam!"...They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.Whew! I must have left the top off the whiteout again! I wasn't sleeping! I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work! I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga? Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem! I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without using my hands.The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot!

Caught napping at work, school, or church...try this one.
Guaranteed to work!
Just pick your head up real fast and say:
"...in JESUS' name...AMEN!"
(he-he...how can they yell at you for this :)
ADDENDUM: For some reason, it won't work in a Synagogue?