Nascar Jokes

Yo Mama is like a nascar driver she burns fifty rubbers a day!

What does NASCAR mean? Non-athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

What does NASCAR stand for?
Non
Athletic
Sport
Created
Around
Rednecks

You might be a reneck if...

Your idea of good fishing involves the use of a boat, a net and dynamite.

Burger King won't let you do it your way, right away.

You can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but can't remember your wifes birthday, kids birthday, or anniversary.

You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can't remember how old your children are.

Your idea of going to see a play involves goal posts.

You think a computer hacker carries an axe.

You keep a chainsaw in the trunk "just in case".

You've given your gun a woman's name.

Baling wire and a pair of pliers are what you consider high tech tools.

You go to the post office to research your family tree.

A NASCAR fan died and went to heaven. Upon entering, this person noticed pro driver Alan Kulwicki's race car, and asked St. Peter about it. St. Peter said Alan was in heaven and his car was on display. Walking a little further, the man sees Davey Allison's car. Once again he inquired to St. Peter about it. "Davey Allison is also in heaven. In fact, God's a BIG NASCAR fan, so when drivers die, their race cars get put on display." Walking further, the individual came upon Dale Earnhardt's car - a seasoned veteran of the sport. At this sight, the new heaven dweller panicked! "Oh, No! St. Peter - Dale Earnhardt is about to win the Championship this year, and you mean to tell me he has just died?!? "No, no," St. Peter chuckled, "That's God's car. He lets Dale use it on weekends."