Nations Jokes / Recent Jokes
By Andrew Marlatt
Sunday, February 10, 2002; Page B05
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China and Syria today announced they had formed the Axis of Just as Evil, which they said would be "way eviler" than the Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name.
"Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean President Kim Jong Il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils....I mean the best at being evil....We're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. more...
In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran, and North Korea 'Axis of Evil"-N.Y. Times, 1/30/02
ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA, and SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL; Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs
Beijing. - Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join more...
If all the nations in the world are in the debt, where did all the money go?
Four delegates from China, Russia, the United States and Malaysia attended the United Nations' Meeting. All the nations were discussing about space exploration by the year 2000. Here are some of the conversations: China Delegate:' By the year 2000, China will start their moon exploration project.' Russian Delegate:' We too, we are going to explore the moon. This time we will see to it that our cosmonauts will step on the moon.' Bill Clinton:' We the United States will also explore the moon for second time.' Malaysian Delegate:' By the year 2000, Malaysia will explore the sun.' There was a long silence, Bill Clinton stood up and asked the Malaysia Delegate:' Isn't it too hot to explore the sun?' Malaysian Delegate (smiling):' I had this thought out already. We will do it in the evening.'
There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined strike force with troops from several nations included in it.
Could it work? Let's take a look at one operation.
A combined force beach landing on a tropical island. When the troops hit the beach.
The Royal Marines go fishing.
The US Marines wait for CNN to arrive.
The French don't care whose beach it is; it's French territory now!
The Canadians watch the Americans very closely, then offer to guard their landing strip.
The Dutch have a beach party and smoke some dope saying the English don't understand them.
The Italians go sunbathing.
The Germans land and build a car factory.
The West Indians go looking for the Dutch.
The Austrians just watch the Russians and Germans.
The Chinese win the natives hearts and minds then kill them.
The SEALs arrive after dark and kill anyone who is not a SEAL.
The Aussies and Kiwis land then start fighting each other over a more...
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil, "which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!", declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad."An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had more...
An American research team eager to measure the advances in technology made by different nations devised a thinner than human hair metal wire and took it round the world to see what other nations could do to it.
The Japanese proved their skill by boring a hole in it. The researchers arrived in India with the thin holed wire and challenged our technicians to improve upon it.
They were directed to Ludhiana. There they were taken to a workshop run by a sardar/r mistri in his backyard. The sardar/r' examined the wire and told the researchers to come back an hour later. When the team returned at the appointed hour, he handed them their wire. They could see no change.' Examine it under a magnifying glass,' commanded the sardarjiThey did. Printed on the wire was the legend:' Made in India'.