Necklace Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Englishman, an Irish man and a Scotsman were in the pub deciding what they were going to buy for their wives for Christmas.
The Englishman said, "I'm going to buy my wife a necklace and a scarf.
That way, if she doesn't like the necklace, she can wear the scarf on top and she won't be embarrassed, I won't be embarrassed, and we'll have a happy Christmas"
Next is was the Scotsman's turn. "I'm going to buy my wife a bracelet and some long gloves. That way, if she doesn't like the bracelet, she can wear the gloves on top and she won't be embarrassed, I won't be embarrassed, and we'll have a happy Christmas."
Finally they asked the Irishman what he was going to buy. "Well I'm going to buy my wife a bright red hat and a vibrator," said the Irishman.
"If she doesn't like the hat, she can go fuck herself."

A snobbish tourist was visiting a small Australian village when he noticed a local man wearing a highly ornate necklace that featured 10 alligator teeth. He approached the man and in a condescending manner said, "Goodness, what a fancy necklace! I guess you people must value alligator teeth the same way my people value pearls."The man replied, "Well, anyone can open up an oyster."

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."

Two men are sitting in a pub talking, one mentions that it's his wife's birthday soon and he doesn't know what to get her. The second man says that he bought his wife a blue Porsche and a red Porsche for her birthday because if she didn't like the blue one, she could have the red one, and vice versa. The next week, the second man asks the other what he finally bought his wife. He replies, "a necklace and a vibrator." "Why?" asks the second man. To which the other man replies, "Because if she doesn't like the necklace, she can go fuck herself."

In the film Kyun Ho Gaya Na! there is scene where Vivek hands over his peice of necklace charm to Aish but in the next scene afte that one Vivek is wearing the necklace charm again on his neck.