Bracelet Jokes

An Englishman, an Irish man and a Scotsman were in the pub deciding what they were going to buy for their wives for Christmas.
The Englishman said, "I'm going to buy my wife a necklace and a scarf.
That way, if she doesn't like the necklace, she can wear the scarf on top and she won't be embarrassed, I won't be embarrassed, and we'll have a happy Christmas"
Next is was the Scotsman's turn. "I'm going to buy my wife a bracelet and some long gloves. That way, if she doesn't like the bracelet, she can wear the gloves on top and she won't be embarrassed, I won't be embarrassed, and we'll have a happy Christmas."
Finally they asked the Irishman what he was going to buy. "Well I'm going to buy my wife a bright red hat and a vibrator," said the Irishman.
"If she doesn't like the hat, she can go fuck herself."

Judi was walking by the jewelry store one day in the midtown mall. She saw a diamond bracelet that she really liked. In the store she went.“Excuse me,” she said to the sales lady behind the counter, “Will a small deposit
hold that bracelet until my husband does something unforgivable?”

One day I was at the movies when this guys cell phone rings. I got even madder when he answered it he says “ hey what’s up Im at the movies right now”. I yelled out “SHUT THE HELL UP” and then he says “mind your own business”. I was about to go crazy but then I looked at my bracelet “What Would Jesus do”? I did exactly what Jesus would do I burned him and sent him to HELL.! !!!!!

There were three men drinking at Pete's Bar

A Doctor, an Attorney, and a Biker.
As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said "For Valentine's Day I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way if she doesn't like the fur coat, she will still love me because she got a diamond ring."

As the attorney was drinking his martini he said "For Valentine's Day I'm going to buy my wife a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet."

As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said "For Valentine's Day I'm going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go f **** herself!"

Andy noticed that little Jill was wearing a medical alert bracelet and asked her what it was for.
"I have to wear it because I'm allergic to nuts and eggs," Jill explained.
"Gosh, are you allergic to cats too?" asked Andy.
"I'm not sure," replied Jill. "I haven't eaten one yet."