Bracelet Jokes / Recent Jokes

Andy noticed that little Jill was wearing a medical alert bracelet and asked her what it was for.
"I have to wear it because I'm allergic to nuts and eggs," Jill explained.
"Gosh, are you allergic to cats too?" asked Andy.
"I'm not sure," replied Jill. "I haven't eaten one yet."

Judi was walking by the jewelry store one day in the midtown mall. She saw a diamond bracelet that she really liked. In the store she went.
“Excuse me, ” she said to the sales lady behind the counter, “Will a small deposit
hold that bracelet until my husband does something unforgivable? ”

One day a woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?"

She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start supper."

The next day, the woman arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?"

She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start supper."

The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?"

She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper."

Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the more...

A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper." Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub." He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."

A doctor, lawyer and biker are sitting together in a bar when their conversation turns to what each are getting their wives for Christmas.
The doctor says, "I'm buying my wife an evening gown and a gold bracelet. That way, if she doesn't like the gown, she'll like the bracelet and will still love me."
The lawyer says, "I'm buying my wife a fur coat and a pair of diamond earrings. That way, if she doesn't like the fur coat, she'll like the earrings and will still love me."
The biker says, "I'm buying my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. That way, if she doesn't like the t-shirt, she can go screw herself!"