Newfy Jokes

A newfy man walks into a bar and orders himself a drink. when the bar tender brings it over to him, he ask him if he was a betting man. The bar tender replys, why yes, i, ve been known to take a bet from time to time, depending on what it was. why?
Well, says the newfoundlander, i, m willing to bet you $1000.00 that i could piss in that shot glass on the shelf behind your head!...The bar tender turns to see where he was pointing and then looks back at the newfy and says to him, ok pal your on, but you have to do it from where you, re standing.
Not a problem says the newf, so the bar tender places his $1000.00 on the bar next to the newfs and then the newf pulls down his fly and starts to pee.
He, s pissin on the bar, on the wall, on the floor, and even on the bar tender, but not one drop goes into the shot glass!
When he finishes, the bar tender"LAUGHING TO KILL HIMSELF" picks up his newly won money and then realizes that the newf is laughing as well.
So more...

This newfy comes to america and never had sex before. His friend in newfoundland told him if he wanted to learn about sex to go see the hookers in america they would teach him sex.
so the newfy found a hooker and asked her:
(newfy)-i never had sex before and i was told to see you to learn!
(hooker)-yes well we will start with a 69!
(newfy)-ok sure!!!
So they get into position and the newfy is not to sure about what he should be doing?
so he putts one hand on her ass! and the hooker let's a big fart go!!
(hooker) oop's sorry about that are you ok?
(newfy making a weird face)- yeah sure!
So the newfy putts the other hand on her ass and she let's an even bigger fart out!
(hooker)- sorry are you ok?
(newfy gasping for air)yeah i'll be ok thanks!
So the newfy putts both his hands on her ass and the hooker let's a big juicy stinky fart and say's:
(hooker)-i'm really really sorry about that!!!
(newfy almost puking )-It's ok but i think more...