Nickel Jokes / Recent Jokes
George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when George W. said, "I hate all the dumb George W. jokes people tell about me."Wise Old Cheney, feeling sorry for his old boss kid, said sage-like, "Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."Now Cheney, to patronize George W, took him outside and hailed a taxi driver."Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," said Cheney.The cab driver without saying a word drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, Cheney looked at George W. and said, "See! That guy was really stupid!""No kidding," replied George W. "There was a pay phone just around the corner...You could have called instead?"
I`ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blonde said, "I hate all the blonde jokes people tell."
"Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
They went outside and hailed a taxi driver.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette.
The taxi drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See! That guy was really stupid."
"No kidding," replied the blonde. "There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.
Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
There's a nickels worth of difference between a republican and a democrat
Put a nickel on the table and a republican will kill you for it.
Do the same, and a democrat will steal it from you.
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said,
"Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.
Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
This joke was told by a woman (didn't get her name) from the West
Virginia Bankers' Association during Comedy Night at Robby's (a local
night club) in Huntington West Virginia:
There was a girl who just started working in a bank. Every day, she
noticed that a very attractive man walked by her office. She discovered
that he was the bank president and that he made quite a lot of money. She
decided that she would like to get to know this man, but she was not
quite sure what to do to get him to ask her out on a date.
She went to her analyst and he gave her some advice. While she was around
this man he suggested that she pretend a string was attached to the top
of her head and that it hung down her left side to her waist. She was to
also to pretend that a penny was attached to the end of the string. When
she walked near this guy she was to pretend to hit the penny with her
left hip. This, stated the analyst, would cause him to notice more...