Nimal Jokes

It was a musical program on Hiru FM. Two famous sinhala songs were on top of the chart and it was the chance of a listener to select the winning song.
The caller was Nimal, from Mahara. The announcer asked the caller, "Haa Nimal dan kiyanda balanda oya wedipurama kemathi Samithage' Rana Hansa Yuwalatada' ehema nathnam Shashika Nisansalage' Thol pethi witharakda' kiyala.
And the listener started giggling while saying
"Hmmm samithage rana hansa yuwalata thamai mama wediyenma kemathi, habai shashikage thol pethith naraka naha!", and the program quickly switched to a commercial break. ...: -

A school inspector went to a school for his annual inspection to check the educational quality and standard of the grade 9 students. With out the presence of teacher he took over the class and started to check the knowledge of history. He address Nimal who was seated in the front row " Nimal, tell me who broke the bow of Rawana? (Nimal kiyannna Rawana ge dunnna kaduwe kawda kiyala").
Nimal replied " Sir, I never broke Rawana’s bow, somebody must have told a lie to you"
School inspector was frustrated to see the poor standard and the knowledge of history of these students. As an experienced educationist, he thought the students should not be blamed but the teacher. So he called the class teacher and blamed him " look here Mr Silva, I am very disappointed about some of the answers given by your students". Mr Silva, the class teacher very politely asked, can you explain me further?
The inspector explained " I have asked one of your more...

One day, Nimal complained to his friend Ruchira,"My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend offered,"Don't do that! !! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs 10francs."
Nimal figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the 10francs. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy lifting.
It will be better in two weeks.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science for ever, he more...