Nine Jokes / Recent Jokes

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, and with them are their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit in the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the side walk and says to him: "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!
The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up!"

Ten civil servants standing in a line,
One of them was downsized - then there were nine.
Nine civil servants who must negotiate,
One joined the union - then there were eight.
Eight civil servants thought they were in heaven,
'Til one of them was redeployed - then there were seven.
Seven civil servants, their jobs as safe as bricks,
But one was reclassified - then there were six.
Six civil servants trying to survive,
One of them was privatized - then there were five.
Five civil servants ready to give more,
But one golden handshake reduced them to four.
Four civil servants full of loyalty,
Their jobs were all advertised - then there were three.
Three civil servants under review,
One left on secondment - then there were two.
Two civil servants coping on the run,
One went on stress leave - then there was one.
The last civil servant agreed to relocate,
Replaced by 10 consultants at twice the hourly rate.

What Exactly Is Marriage? "Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents" -Eric, six years old

"When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her,' I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.' Then she says yes, but she's wondering what the thing is and whether it's naughty or not. She can't wait to find out." -Anita, nine years old

How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry? "You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." -Kelly, nine years old

"My mother says to look for a man who is kind.... That's what I'll do.... I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -Carolyn, eight years old

Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a more...

I can let you have this top-of-the-line stereo for nine hundred dollars, minus six percent for cash," the salesman said.
The customer, not able to figure the calculation, said he would think about the deal and return the next day.
That evening, the fellow asked his female friend, "If you were offered nine hundred dollars minus six percent, how much would you take off?"
"Everything but my earrings," she purred.

What Exactly Is Marriage?
"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don`t have to give her back to her parents" -Eric, six years old
"When somebody`s been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, `I`ll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.` Then she says yes, but she`s wondering what the thing is and whether it`s naughty or not. She can`t wait to find out." -Anita, nine years old
How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry?
"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." -Kelly, nine years old
"My mother says to look for a man who is kind.... That`s what I`ll do.... I`ll find somebody who`s kinda tall and handsome." -Carolyn, eight years old
Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married
"Once I`m done with kindergarten, I`m going to find me a wife" more...

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out.

The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"
The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom."

Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?"
The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either."

The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?"
The nine year old says "They're for my four year old little brother."

The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother??"

The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!"

How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet?
"They were at a dance party at a friend`s house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down... It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values." -Lottie, nine years old
"My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won`t tell me what kind." -Jeremy, eight years old
What Do Most People Do on a Date?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -Martin, ten years old
"Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love." -Craig, nine years old
When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, `cause she`ll want to have videos of the wedding." -Allan, ten years old
"Never kiss in front of other people. It`s a big embarrassing thing if more...