Noon Jokes / Recent Jokes

At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.

"It opens at noon" answers the clerk.

About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker.

"What time does the bar open?" he asks.

"Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk.

Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"

The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you."

"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"

Three men were flying on a plane over the jungle when it crashed. They were the only people who survived. They decided that starting the next morning one of them would go out and make weapons and see if he could kill anything.
So the next morning the first man went out. He didn't come back till about noon. When they saw him they ran to him and helped him carry the deer back to the plane wreckage. They asked him how he killed it.
He said "I find tracks... I follow tracks... I kill deer."
So the next morning the second guy set out. He too came back at noon. When they saw him they ran to him and helped him carry the buffalo he had killed back to the plane wreckage. They asked him how he had killed it.
He said "I find tracks... I follow tracks... I kill buffalo."
The next morning the third guy went out. The other two were watching and watching for him. When it was almost sundown and he still hadn't returned they started getting worried. Then more...

At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.
"It opens at noon" answers the clerk.
About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker.
"What time does the bar open?" he asks.
"Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"
The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you."
"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"

At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens."It opens at noon" answers the clerk.About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker."What time does the bar open?" he asks."Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk.Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you.""No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what
time the bar opens.
"It opens at noon," answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even
drunker.
"What time does the bar open?" he asks.
"Same time as before... Noon," replies the clerk.
Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered. "Whatjoo shay the bar
opins at?"
The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can
have room service send something up to you."
"Arre! No... I don't want to git in... Ah want to git OUT!!!"

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy askingwhat time the bar opens. "It opens at noon," answers the clerk.About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even=drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks."Same time as before... Noon," replies the clerk.Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered. "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, Ican have room service send something up to you.""No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"

Three men were flying on a plane over the jungle when it crashed. They were the only people who survived. They decided that starting the next morning one of them would go out and make weapons and see if he could kill anything.
So the next morning the first man went out. He didn't come back till about noon. When they saw him they ran to him and helped him carry the deer back to the plane wreckage. They asked him how he killed it.
He said "I find tracks...I follow tracks...I kill deer."
So the next morning the second guy set out. He too came back at noon. When they saw him they ran to him and helped him carry the buffalo he had killed back to the plane wreckage. They asked him how he had killed it.
He said "I find tracks...I follow tracks...I kill buffalo."
The next morning the third guy went out. The other two were watching and watching for him. When it was almost sundown and he still hadn't returned they started getting worried. Then they saw a more...