Norman Jokes / Recent Jokes

The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?""None," answered little Norman."None? Norman, you dont know your arithmetic.""Teacher, you dont know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"

A high school had a policy that the parents must call the school if a student was to be absent for the day.
Kelly (name changed to protect the guilty), deciding to skip school and go to the mall with her friends waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself.
This is the actual conversation of the telephone call...
Kelly: "Hi, I`m calling to report that Kelly so-and-so is unable to make it to school today because she is ill.
Secretary at high school: "Oh, I`m sorry to hear that. I`ll note her absence. Who is this calling?"
Kelly: "This is my mother."
Needless to say, she didn`t pull it off!
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a more...

3 guys are walking down the street when it starts to rain they decide to take shelter in a hotel for the night. The first guy walks into a hotel and askes for a room the hotel manager says "we have no rooms left but you can sleep in the shed but it has a baby in it" the man takes it. The second man walks a bit further to the next hotel ans askes for a room the manager replies " we have no rooms left but you can sleep in the barn but it has someones baby in it. The man takes it. The third guy walks in to the next hotel and askes for a room the manager replies "Ww have no rooms left but you can sleep in the attic but it has 18 ladies i it" The man takes it. The next day the manager goes to the first guy and asks how did u sleep he says "I slept like a log" The second manager asks the next bloke how did u sleep he replied "I seleeped like a baby" The third hotel manager goes into the third guy and asks how did you sleep he replies with more...

It was a sweltering August day when the Cohen brothers entered the posh
Dearborn, Michigan, offices of Henry Ford, the car maker, "Mr. Ford,"
announced Norman Cohen, the eldest of the three.
"We have a remarkable invention that will revolutionize the automobile industry."
Ford looked skeptical, but their threat to offer it to the competition kept
his interest piqued. "We would like to demonstrate it to you in person."
After a little cajoling, they brought Mr. Ford outside and asked him to
enter a black automobile parked in front of the building.
Hyman Cohen, the middle brother, opened the door of the car. "Please step inside, Mr. Ford." "What!" shouted the tycoon, "Are you crazy?
It must be two hundred degrees in that car!" "It is," smiled the youngest
brother, Max, "but sit down Mr. Ford, and push the white button."
Intrigued, Ford pushed the button. All of a more...

It was a sweltering August day when the Greenberg brothers entered the posh Dearborn, Michigan offices of the notoriously anti-Semitic car-maker, Henry Ford.
"Mr. Ford," announced Hyman Greenberg, the eldest of the three, "we have a remarkable invention that will revolutionize the automobile industry."
Ford looked skeptical, but their threats to offer it to the competition kept his interest piqued. "We would like to demonstrate it to you in person." After a little cajoling, they brought Mr. Ford outside and asked him to enter a black car that was parked in front of the building.
Norman Greenberg, the middle brother, opened the door of the car. "Please step inside Mr. Ford."
"What?" shouted the tycoon, "are you crazy? It must be two hundred degrees in that car!"
"It is," smiled the youngest brother, Max, "but sit down, Mr. Ford, and push the white button."
Intrigued, Ford pushed the more...

The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?" "None," answered little Norman. "None? Norman, you don`t know your arithmetic." "Teacher, you don`t know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Norman!
Norman who?
Norman has ever set foot here before! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Norman!
Norman who?
Norman's land!