Notices Jokes / Recent Jokes

Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the First button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face.Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two more...

Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.
They begin talking. After about five minutes, Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face.
Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later, the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well.
"I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States more...

Saddam Hussein and President George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices 3 buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.
They begin talking. After about 5 minutes, Saddam presses the first button.
A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the 2 countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much else but say "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
Two weeks pass and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. Asthe 2 men sit more...

There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties.
The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not proper to walk around without any panties on."
The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money, the girl explained what happened.
Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church.
As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.
The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, walks back to the priest very calmly.
The priest hands the lady $1 and says... "Lady, take more...

A tourist in a strange town notices that her watch is broken. She starts
looking for a repair shop. After a long and frustrating search she
finds herself in an area where many shop signs are in Hebrew. Finally,
she notices that one of the stores has all kinds of clocks and watches
ticking merrily in the window. She walks into the shop and puts her watch
on the counter in front of the proprietor.
Tourist: "Would you please repair this watch."
Proprietor: "Madam, I cannot repair your watch."
T: "But why not? It is an ordinary model."
P: "Madam, I do not repair watches. I am a moel, I perform circumcisions."
T (irritated): "Then why on earth do you have all these clocks in your window?"
P: "Well, and what should I have in my window?"

There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day.As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties.The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not proper to walk around without any panties on."The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money, the girl explained what happened.Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church.As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, walks back to the priest very calmly.The priest hands the lady $1 and says..."Lady, take this money and for God's sake, go more...

A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle. When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish. The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made.
The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow. The diner agrees. The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish. When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small. He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies, ''Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins''.