Oclock Jokes

At three oclock one morning a veterinary surgeon was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of his telephone. He staggered downstairs and answered the phone. "Im sorry if I woke you," said a voice at the other end of the line. "Thats all right," said the vet, "I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 Oclock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldnt jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, "I cant take this, youre my friend."But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bets a bet."Then the redhead said "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 Oclock news, so I cant take your money."The blonde replied "Well, so did I, but I didnt think he would jump again!"

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 oclock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger standing in a pouring down rain is asking for a push. Not a chance says the husband - Its three oclock in the morning! He slams the door and returns to bed. Who was it? asks his wife. Just a drunken stranger asking for a push he answers. Did you help him? she asks. NO, I didnt-its three in the morning and its pouring out! Well, youve got a short memory says his wife. Cant you remember about three months ago when we broke down on holiday and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him. The man does as he is told and gets dressed and goes out into the pounding rain and calls out into the dark: Hello, are you still there? Yes, comes the answer. Do you still want a push? calls out the husband. Yes, please! comes the reply from the dark. Where are you? asks the husband. Over here, on the swing the drunk replies.

They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadnt been talking to each other. Instead, they were giving each other written notes. One evening he gave her a paper where it said:"Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am."The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 oclock. Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying:"Wake up, its 6 oclock!"