Oral Jokes / Recent Jokes
AGE DRINK 17 beer 25 beer 35 vodka 48 double vodka 66 Maalox SEDUCTION LINE 17 My parents are away for the weekend. 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend. 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend. 48 My wife is away for the weekend. 66 My second wife is dead. FAVORITE SPORT 17 sex 25 sex 35 sex 48 sex 66 napping DRUG 17 pot 25 pot & alcohol 35 alcohol 48 power 66 scotch, a limousine, the company jet DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 "tongue" 25 "breakfast" 35 "I didn't bump into her kids." 48 "She didn't set back my therapy." 66 "Got home alive." FAVORITE FEMALE PART 17 "All" 25 "Breasts" 35 "Breasts" 48 "Breasts" 66 "Small butt in a thong" FAVORITE ACT 17 "Anything we can get" 25 "Missionary" 35 "Oral" 48 "Oral" 66 "Oral" FAVORITE PLACE 17 "Any place" 25 "His bedroom" 35 "Any place her kids aren't" 48 more...
There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.
"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.
"I was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight,' cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."
Source: Passed to me by a colleague at the University of Idaho
Did you hear the one about the day Oral Roberts, Jerry Falwell and Robert
Schuler were driving to a big "tent meeting" together? Unfortunately,
they were involved in a terrible accident and all three were killed.
As you might expect they all ascended into heaven and came to standing in
front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greeted them and welcomed them to
heaven. Then he started to hem and haw around and finally explained that
they hadn't any advance notice of this situation and so weren't quite
prepared for three so illustrious and holy men. He explained how all
three of them qualified for the very finest accommodations heaven had to
offer including very large and splendid mansions, but they weren't quite
ready so would they mind waiting a few days?
They replied that they wouldn't mind waiting, but were they just going
to have to stand there for several days? more...
A man was approached by co-worker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work. The co-worker suggested a way to overcome that problem: "When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys."
So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told he he'd be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the more...
There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late.
One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up.
His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late."Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.
"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight,' cause my mother is sleeping in our more...
Q: What's the most important room in the White House?
A: The Oral Office
Q: How do you get a job in the White House?
A: You have to pass an oral test.
Dear Abby:
Q: My fiance still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will not be faithful.
A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour.
Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and my sister.
A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing - your sister. Far from being an issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour.
Q: My husband continually asks me more...