Orange Jokes / Recent Jokes

why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton
because it said concentrate
seb, 11

A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for
driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four
frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be
counted. The judge ruled that passengers must be alive to
qualify.

A man was doing a study of children's senses in a first-grade class using a bowl of Lifesavers. He gave the children all the same kind of Lifesaver and asked them, "What is the flavor, and what color is it?" The children began to say, "Red. . . cherry. . . yellow. . . lemon. . . lime. . . green. . . orange. . . orange."

Finally, he gave them all honey Lifesavers. The children suck on them for a while, but can't decipher the taste. "Well," he said, "I'll give you a clue. It's what your mother would call your father."

One little girl looked up in horror, spit hers out, and yelled: "Everybody spit it out, they're assholes!"

A guy goes to the doctor and says " Doc my pecker has turned orange."

The doctor takes a look and says "I've never seen anything like this before. We'll have to run some tests to see if you have been poisoned or something. Where do you work a chemical plant?"

The guy answers "No. As a matter of fact I've been out of work for a couple of months now, and I've just been sitting around the house watching pornos and eating cheetos."

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Who's bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby! Mr. Bigger's baby because he is a little bigger!
Do fish get cramps after eating?

A girl walked over to her neighbor's for her morning chat session. When she got there, her neighbor remarked how tired she looked. "Yeah" she said, "I didn't sleep well last night, I had this really strange dream." "Do tell" said her neighbor, pouring the coffee. "Well, I dreamed I woke up and went downstairs as usual, but when I looked in the mirror my face had turned orange, and my hair was sticking straight up out of my head and was green!" "Sounds like you turned into a punk rocker or something" the neighbor said, with a grin. "No" she said, "It wasn't like that. It was as if I knew something was wrong, but it seemed normal somehow, you know what I mean?" "Sure" said the neighbor, "Everybody's had dreams like that." "Well anyway" she continued, "I decided to go down and get the mail, because even in my dream, I figured I must be dreaming, so what the heck if I was orange, you more...

Q: What did the apple say to the orange?

A: Nothing stupid, apples don't talk.