Oranges Jokes / Recent Jokes

Question and the Answer given by Candidates, oh sorry they are IAS
(Indian Administrative Services - THE most difficult examination in
India . Candidates are graduate Officers now.

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)

Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at more...

So there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead and they were running from the police but all they could find was a barn. They were in a hurry to hide so the brunette hid in the horse's stable, the redhead hid in a tree, and the blonde hid behind a few boxes of oranges. When the policemen came to the barn, they went to the horses stable and the policeman heard something.
"Wait!" he said. "I hear breathing!"
But the brunette went, "Neigh! Neigh!"
"Oh, it's just a horse," the policeman said. Then he walked around and came upon a tree and heard breathing.
"Stop!" he said. "I hear breathing in the tree!"
"Caww! Caww!" went the redhead.
"Oh, it's just a bird," said the policeman. Next, the policemen came upon a barn with a stack of boxes of oranges.
"Wait!" Said the policeman. "I hear breathing!"
Then the blonde said "I'm an orange! I'm an orange!"

Mary was a prostitute but didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes and the girl was amongst the group. The police lined up all the prostitutes on the street, when Mary's grandmother walked past. Along comes the grandma and sees her grand daughter.
Grandma asked Mary, "What are you lining up for."
Mary, frightened to let grandma know the truth said "Some people are passing out free oranges and I'm lining up for some."
Grandma wanted oranges too, so she went to the back of the line.
A policeman was going down the line asking for information from the prostitutes. When he got to the grandma, he was bewildered and asked, "You are so old, how do you do it?"
Grandma (thinking he's asking her about how she can eat oranges) replied, "Oh, it's easy, I just take off my dentures and suck them dry.

A man was obsessed with women's breasts, so he went to a psychologist and told him his problem.
"Let's play a little word association game," the doctor said. "I'll say a word and you say the first thing that comes to your mind."
"Plums," said the doctor.
"Breasts," the patient said.
"Oranges."
"Breasts," the patient replied.
"Watermelons."
"Breasts," said the patient.
"Wipers."
"Breasts," the patient said.
"Wait a minute!" the doctor said. "I can understand the connection between plums, oranges, watermelons and breasts. But, automobile wipers? Where's the connection?"
"Easy, doc," the patient explained, "one on the left and one on the right!"

Lulu was a prostitute. One day there was a raid. All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took them in one by one.

As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so ashamed, Grandma didn't know her occupation.

Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for. Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh oranges to those waiting Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got at the end of the line.

When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed. He said, "How the heck do you do this at your age?"

She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and suck'em dry!"

The policeman fainted.