Prostitute Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A little koala bear wanders into a whorehouse. He climbs the stairs and finds a door open. He goes in to the room to find a naked prostitute asleep on the bed. He quickly climbs into the bed and begins performing oral sex on the prostitute.
    She wakes up and decides that since it feels so good she'll let him finish. The koala finishes, wipes his chin, climbs off the bed and heads for the door. The prostitute jumps up and yells at him "Hey, you have to pay for that". The koala shrugs and continues to head for the door.
    The prostitute yells at him again, "Hey you have to pay for that. I'm a prostitute". She gets up and pulls a dictionary off a shelf and shows the koala the definition.
    PROSTITUTE
    (n) a person receiving payment for sexual services.
    The koala shrugs, takes the dictionary and turns the pages to the definition of koala bear.
    KOALA
    (n.) a small bear that eats bushes and leaves.

    Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays:
    - What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?
    - Hundred dollars, as usual.

    Good evening ladies", Sherlock Holmes said as he passed three women eating bananas on a park bench.
    "Do you know them?" Dr. Watson asked. "No", Holmes replied, "I've never met the nun, the prostitute or the bride we just passed."
    "Good Lord, Holmes, how in the world did you know all that?"
    "Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun ate the banana by holding it one hand and using the fingers of the other hand to properly break the fruit into small pieces."
    "The prostitute", he continued, "grabbed with both hands and crammed the whole thing into her mouth."
    "Amazing!" Watson exclaimed. "But how did you know the third was a newlywed?"
    "Because she held it one hand and pushed her head toward it with the other."

    A husky foreigner, looking for sex, accepted a prostitute's terms.When she undressed, he noticed that she had no pubic hair.The man shouted, "What, no wool? In my country all women have wool down there."The prostitute snapped back, "What do you want to do, knit or fuck?"

    This male prostitute contracted syphilis. He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.

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