Orgasm Jokes / Recent Jokes

My Christmas Wish
If I had 1 wish this Christmas, it would be for all the children of the
world to join together in peace and love and sing in harmony.
If I had 2 wishes this Christmas, it would be for
1. All the Children of the world to sing together
2. $1, 000, 000 tax free
If I had 3 wishes this Christmas
1. Kids singing together
2. $1, 000, 000 tax free per year for life
3. To have all encompassing power over the universe
If I had 4 wishes this Christmas
1. The crap about the kids
2. $1, 000, 000
3. All encompassing power
4. 1 extended orgasm to last 30 days, brought about by 2 super models
and, of course, my spouse
Let's face it, the logistics of getting all those kids together is impossible.
So, let's rearrange
1. All encompassing power
2. The orgasm
3. The money
OHHH!! I forgot to strike down my enemies. Okay, so we add that in.
Now.. My wish this Christmas would more...

(100 ways to keep your Testosterone flowing)
1 Don't call, ever.
2 If you don't like a girl, don't tell her. It's more fun to let her figure it out by herself.
3 Lie.
4 Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and unoriginal, such as "spike"
5 If you lose something that belongs to someone else, tell them you mailed it to them.
6 Here's a good pick-up line, "My girlfriend's pregnant, will you go out with me?
7 Drink Vernors.
8 Play with yourself. Talk about it.
9 Be as ambiguous as possible. If you don't want to answer, a nice grunt will do.
10 Always remember: You are a man. Therefore, no matter what, it isn't your fault.
11 Lie
12 Girls find it attractive if a man has had more women than baths.
13 Never ask for help. Even if you really, really need help don't ask. People will think you have no penis.
14 Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.
15 Vanity is the most more...

Mommy, Mommy! What's an Oedipus complex?
Shut up and kiss me!
Mommy, Mommy! Whats an orgasm?
I don't know dear, ask your father.
Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac?
Shut up and help me get Gramma off
the doorknob!
Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off thecliff?
Shut up son, you'll wake your father.
Mommy, Mommy! The milkmans here;
have you got the money or should I go
out anplay?
Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running?
Shut up and reload.
Mommy, Mommy! Why are you moaning?
Shut up son, and keep licking.
Mommy, Mommy! Can I get pregnant?
Of course not dear, you are only seven years
old.
OK boys, same again...
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street!
Shut up and step on the gas!
Come upstairs, son, like a good boy.
No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again.

Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!
Shut up and get away from the dart board!

Mommy, more...