Orgasm Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file! A2: Who cares? A3: She says, "Next". A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder. A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes. A6: I mean, who really cares? A7: The batteries have run out.
A middle-aged man marries a younger woman but discovers that no matter what he does in bed, she won't orgasm. So he takes the problem to his doctor who explains that maybe fantasy is the answer.
So the man hires a young, charming male escort and has him stand naked and waving a towel over the couple whilst they are having sex, to still no avail.
The man goes back to his doctor who suggests trying the scene oppositely, with the escort having sex with the woman whilst the man waves the towel.
Now becoming desperate, the man gets the same escort and tries the doctor's method. Soon the woman bursts into a great orgasm and the man throws down the towel, taps the escort on the shoulder and shouts triumphantly, "See, that's how you wave a bloody towel!"
Q: Why don't men fake orgasm? A: Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose.
An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi.
The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion. "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."
They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi.
"Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."
Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed with more...
A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed.They're having a great time. She was on top when suddenly she had an epileptic seizure - she was shaking and foaming at the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this was incredible - best sex he'd ever had.He finished, but she is still shaking and thrashing about with her seizure. He began to get nervous and took her to the emergency room.A nurse asked what the problem was and he replied, "I think her orgasm's stuck!"
81. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?
A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.
82. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: 'Cause everybody gets a turn.
83. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country.
84. Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex?
A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?
85. Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
A: *Who cares?*
86. Q: Why do blonds have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex!
87. Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm???
A1: She drops her nail-file!!!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She say 'Next'
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes
A6: The batteries have run out.
88. Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can't remember the number.
A2: She more...
If I had 1 wish this Christmas, it would be for all the children of the world
to join together in peace and love and sing in harmony.
If I had 2 wishes this Christmas, it would be for:
1. All the Children of the world to sing together
2. $1, 000, 000 tax free
If I had 3 wishes this Christmas:
1. Kids singing together
2. $1, 000, 000 tax free per year for life
3. To have all encompassing power over the universe
If I had 4 wishes this Christmas:
1. The crap about the kids
2. $1, 000, 000
3. All encompassing power
4. 1 extended orgasm to last 30 days, brought about by 2 supermodels and, of
course, my wife
Let's face it, the logistics of getting all those kids together is impossible.
So, let's rearrange
1. All encompassing power
2. The orgasm
3. The money
OH! I forgot to strike down my enemies. Okay, so we add that in.
Now, my wish this Christmas would be:
1. The power
2. To more...