Outside Jokes / Recent Jokes

There Were Three Friends. Nobody, Mad And Brain. One Day Nobody Got Lost. Mad And Brain Went To The Police-Station. Mad Went In
And Brain Waited Outside. Mad Said Nobody Is Lost. Officer Said Are You Mad. Mad Said Yes I Am. Oficer Said Where Is Your Brain?
Waiting Outside

The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town one dusty, dry, Wild West day and proceed to the first saloon, where they tie up their trusty steeds and head in for a snort.
After a while a stranger walks into the bar and asks, 'Who owns the white horse tied up outside?'
The Lone Ranger said, 'Why, that would be mine. Why do you ask?'
'Because it's collapsed and looks like it's dying,' says the stranger.
So the Lone Ranger and Tonto head out to check on Silver.
'He's probably just suffering from the heat,' says the Lone Ranger, who asks Tonto if he could run around Silver for a while to help keep him cool.
The Lone Ranger returns to the bar and after half an hour another stranger walks in and asks, 'Who owns the white horse outside?'
The Lone Ranger says, 'That's mine, what's the problem this time?'
'Oh, no problem,' says the stranger, 'it's just that you've left your injun running.'

Even more clues you could be a Redneck... You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. You've ever been pumping gas and another customer asks you to check his oil. You think the Bud Bowl is real. Your dog goes "oink!"You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive. Your mailbox is made out of old auto parts. You know how to milk a goat. Your kids have a three-day old Kool-Aid mustache. Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom. You've ever stood outside a bathroom and heckled someone inside. Turning on your lights involves pulling a string. You have a refrigerator just for beer. You come back from the dump with more than you took. Your wife owns a camouflage nightie. You've ever worn cowboy boots with Bermuda shorts. You don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much. You think the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree to more...

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle god kept. The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle god kept. The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the money into the air and what god wants, god takes."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer.After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?"The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do... Why?"The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around Silver.Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, more...

There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country.
The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell sausage."
The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said "Mmmmmm, I smell pancakes."
The baby mole tried to reach his head outside the hole but couldn't because of the two bigger moles... Are you ready for this? :)... The baby mole said, "The only thing I can smell is mole-asses!"

There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country.
The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell sausage."
The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said "Mmmmmm, I smell pancakes."
The baby mole tried to reach his head outside the hole but couldn't because of the two bigger moles...
Are you ready for this? :)
The baby mole said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses!"