Outside Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do. Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was exhausted. The Lone Ranger got him some water and made him drink it, and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.
The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."
Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.
A few minutes later, more...
There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country.The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell sausage."The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said "Mmmmmm, I smell pancakes."The baby mole tried to reach his head outside the hole but couldn't because of the two bigger moles... Are you ready for this? :)... The baby mole said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses!"
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE
1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's! !
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for Diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because
WE WERE ALWAYS more...
Q. If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A. K9P.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said,
"Who owns the big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do. Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.
The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."
Tonto said, "Sure Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.
A few more...
There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farm house out in the country.The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell sausage.The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said "Mmmmmm, I smell pancakes."The baby mole tried to reach his head outside the hole but couldn't because of the two bigger moles.The baby mole said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer.After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said,"Who owns the big white horse outside?"The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do. Why?"The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!"The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."Tonto said, "Sure Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the more...