Owe Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walks into a bar with his dog and goes up to the bartender and says, " I bet you $50 that my dog can talk!"

The bartender laughing at the man says, "Okay, you're on pal!"

So the man asks his dog, "What is on top of a house?" and the dog replies back "Woof" The man satisfied with the dog's answer says, "There my dog talked!"

The bartender then says " No he didn't he just barked! You owe me $50!" The man gives the bartender his $50 and storms out of the bar.

The next day, the man comes back with the same dog and says to the bartender, "Okay now I bet you $100 that my dog can talk!"

The bartender laughs at him again and says " Okay you're on!"

The man then asks his dog, " Who is the greatest baseball player ever?"

And the dog replies "Woof!"

The man shouts at the bartender "There my dog more...

You don't know Jack Schitt! When someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", well, now you'll know the entire story. Jack Schitt was the only son of Owe Schitt and Awe Schitt. Owe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran a country hotel.. The Kneedeep Inn. Jack Schitt eventually married Noe Schitt and together they produced six children. Sadly, their first child, Holy Schitt, passed away shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Then they had twin daughters, Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt. Their last child was a son, Bull. As time went on, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Deep Schitt's twin brother, Dip Schitt, married Lotta schitt, who gave birth to a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt married the Happens brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Hawse Schitt. Bull Schitt recently married a spicy Italian number, Pisa Schitt and together they await the birth more...

Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Hubby: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?" __________________________________________Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well, that's because we aren't married yet! __________________________________________Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap! __________________________________________Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?" Husband to wife: more...

A not so rich couple decided to stay at a very exclusive hotel for a night. The manager immediately recognized them for what they are but could not throw them out, instead he decided to be clever. In the morning the couple came to settle the bill and were surprized to find they owe $3000. "How's this? We've only been here one night!" the man was annoyed. "So?", said the manager, "this is a very expensive hotel. We have golf courts, tennis courts, swimming pools, exercise rooms, bars and restaurants, all this is very expensive to keep up." "But we didn't use any of these!" explained the couple. "If you didn't use - that's your problem," came the reply. "In that case, you owe me $2000. You see, my wife is a call girl who charges $5000 a night, so please settle your bill," said the man. "What do you mean?" the manager was taken off guard, "I didn't sleep with your wife!" "If yo u didn't use - that's your more...

If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.