Owe Jokes / Recent Jokes

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.

Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
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Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
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Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's more...

Queen Elizabeth, Bush and Chandrika all died and went to hell.
Queen Elizabeth said: "I miss England, I would be pleased to phone England and see how everybody is doing there"
So she called and talked for about 5 minutes.
Then she asked:
"Well devil, how much do I owe you?"
The devil: "A million pounds".
"A million pounds!!!????" & she made him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.
Bush was so jealous, he starts screaming, "Me too, I wanna Phone the USA, I wanna see how everybody is doing too. So He called and talked for about 2 minutes,
Then he asked:
"Well, devil how much do I owe you?"
The devil: "Two million dollars".
"Two million dollars!!!!!!???" & he Made him a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.
Chandrika was extremely jealous too. She starts screaming and screaming "I also want to phone Srilanka! I want to see how everybody is more...

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this."
A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration."
The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again."
The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!"
The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!" The bartender replies, more...

Queen Elizabeth, Bush & Musharraf died & went straight to hell. Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there. She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????

The devil says "Five million dollars". .

She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair. Bush was soo jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too" He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????

The devil says "Ten million dollars" With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair. Musharraf was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Pakistan too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody of my Parliment"..... He called
Pakistan and more...

A not so rich couple decided to stay at a very exclusive hotel for a night. The manager immediately recognized them for what they are but could not throw them out, instead he decided to be clever. In the morning the couple came to settle the bill and were surprized to find they owe $3000."Hows this? Weve only been here one night!" the man was annoyed."So?", said the manager, "this is a very expensive hotel. We have golf courts, tennis courts, swimming pools, exercise rooms, bars and restaurants, all this is very expensive to keep up.""But we didnt use any of these!" explained the couple."If you didnt use - thats your problem," came the reply."In that case, you owe me $2000. You see, my wife is a call girl who charges $5000 a night, so please settle your bill," said the man."What do you mean?" the manager was taken off guard, "I didnt sleep with your wife!""If yo u didnt use - thats your problem!"