Oyster Jokes

What kind of money do fishermen make? Net profits! What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand? Birdsthigh fish fingers! What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)What kind of fish goes well with ice-cream? Jellyfish! What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?'Your plaice or mine'! Where does seaweed look for a job? In the' Kelp-wanted' adds! Why is a fish easy to weigh? Because it has its own scales! Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear? Because they have electric' eels! Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish! To whom do fish go to borrow money? The loan shark!

What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)

What kind of money do fishermen make? Net profits! What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand? Birdsthigh fish fingers! What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)What kind of fish goes well with ice-cream? Jellyfish! What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?'Your plaice or mine'! Where does seaweed look for a job? In the 'Kelp-wanted' adds! Why is a fish easy to weigh? Because it has its own scales! Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear? Because they have electric 'eels! Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish! To whom do fish go to borrow money? The loan shark!

Sam the Clam and Olly the Oyster were the best of friends until, one day, Olly the Oyster died. On his way to Heaven, Olly met Saint Peter at the gate. "Here is your harp," Saint Peter said.
The following day, Olly went up to St.Peter and said, "I need to go back to earth to say goodbye to my good friend, Sam the Clam."
"Okay," Saint Peter replied, "but you only have until 11:59PM to get back or you will have to go down to Hell." Olly agreed and off he went.
When Olly the Oyster went down to earth, he found out that Sam the Clam had opened up a disco. Olly and Sam partied right up until 11:58PM. Then, Olly the Oyster ran all the way up to Heaven and got there just before Saint Peter closed the gate on him.
The next day, Olly the Oyster approached Saint Peter and asked him if he could go back to earth.
"I'm sorry," replied Saint Peter, "but you were there yesterday and I can't allow it. more...